How I met my wife and the prelude to marriage

Strong women enjoy a challenge most of the time.

I've done many things in my life. I've done some things that 95% of the people in this world would just shake their heads at and I don't blame them one damn bit. One of the best things I have done in my life is tell the woman who would become my wife seven years later is that she couldn't handle being with a man like me. It wasn't said to get her to the bedroom either.

The smartest thing I did was challenge her by saying "You could never handle a man like me." Now she is spending her life proving me wrong.

My wife, Jaclyn, thankfully is a VERY strong woman. When she and I first started dating I had just moved back to the DFW metroplex from upstate New York. I had been gone for a number of years at this point and I had been back in Texas for less than six months at this point and I was 29 years old, I thought I was on top of the world. It's safe to say I was spending all of my time doing one of five things: enjoying craft brews (brewery tours included), attending TCU, hanging out in the studio, partying with my friends and attending concerts.

Do you like KMK?

Kottonmouth Kings are outstanding performers is my responds and it just so happens that Bobby B was having an album release party at the Empire Rock Bar. A few people I know were on the performing bill so I was invited to attend the party. My friend JC, one of the women I was dating at the time and I make our way to the party in downtown Dallas. Upon arrival we see a large sign setup to use as a background in photos with the red carpet leading the pathway for some "Rock of Love with Bret Michaels" event also taking place. Not the event we were there for. Our party is in the basement so we make our way down the spiral staircase, a haunting omen. I tell you attending an album release party for Bobby B is not something I ever thought I would be doing, life is good.

JC knew a number of the people attending which made it that much more groovy for me. As JC is introducing me to various people a beautiful woman standing by herself catches my eyes so I point her out to JC and ask him if he knows who this mischievous dark haired angel is. Amazingly he doesn't know this treasure, yet. I am not asking him these things discreetly causing my date to get jealous. I was honest with her from the beginning as I was to all of the ladies I was dating at the time. I am openly dating, I encouraged them to do the same.

We make our way over to the exquisite damsel, why is such a stunning maiden standing there all alone? JC begins conversation with my future trophy to whom he introduces me. I move in all charismatic like (with a slight ego) and begin conversation, we obviously have things in common, we are at an album release party for a very specific genre of music. As she and I are chatting her date, one of the performing artist who I also know, arrives by her side and of course makes it known that she is his property to which I had zero concerns or give any shits about. My date is getting more bothered by the conversation so I conclude the chat by asking for her number. Chances are you don't have any idea how she responded, "I'm not giving you my number but you can add me on Facebook. You could be a serial killer for all I know." Fortunately at that time in my life I had a Facebook account so we exchange information to add each other. Both of our dates played it off as if it didn't drive them completely crazy. Both of us heard a great deal about the event later. Jaclyn and I begin dating.

What's next?

Even though things seemed to be going well the relationship didn't last very long. I would come out and see her, she would drive out to see me. We lived about a hour away at the time, the studio was a good halfway point. This of course lead to us meeting up there and visiting. She was busy finishing her degree as was I so of course I would invite her over to do her work while I did mine, we didn't really focus on our classwork as we probably should have. Things between she and I have an intense feeling and is extremely noticeable for both of us and our GPA.

One one fine evening Jaclyn picks me up from the studio, she has one of her old friends in the car. He is a pretty cool guy, I knew him from the concerts. JC had just recorded a new track so I have to play it for them. After the song plays I ask Jaclyn and her friends for a review, you want to know what possible fans think, right? Sadly Jaclyn's friend doesn't care for the song and isn't tactful about telling me this. Now JC is an old friend and is like my little brother therefore I am slightly protective.

I respond to the harsh critique with something along the lines of "if you keep running your mouth, I will lay you the fuck out." To which Jaclyn responds before her friend can defend himself "if you touch him or say something like that again we will not date again. We can remain friends but it will be nothing but platonic" Me being who I am "that's fine by me." Looking back at her friend sitting in the back seat "keep running your mouth and I will knock you the fuck out, I promise you." That was the end of dating. When Jaclyn dropped me off we shook. That was that. She and I would see each other at concerts, maybe there would be a phone call but that was it. She and I were no longer dating, we were both fine with it. Jaclyn had other people she was dating as did I.

We remained in contact as friends. She and I would see each other at concerts, we would give each other a hug and chat without any awkwardness. Things were fine, neither she nor I was bitter about our brief dating period, what can I say? It was a good time and our lives continued. As I like to remind myself and others, time waits for no man.

As time passed I continued on without any truly serious relationship developing, there is one woman who comes to mind who tried pushing a very serious relationship on me, she was aiming for marriage. Jaclyn became engaged to a man who just couldn't cut it. He has a good heart but he wasn't nearly strong enough to keep up with Jaclyn. I was invited to the wedding, I intended on attending. Jaclyn being the intelligent badass she is called it off. Probably one of the best things she has done in her life. The wedding venue ended up being the location of a very large and badass party that I didn't get to attend unfortunately. I imagine it would have been a good time, there was even an open bar.

A year and change later I call Jaclyn and ask what she is doing for the 4th Of July, she doesn't have any plans. I find that her world is in chaos. She had planned to move to Boston to take up her new job, she had to call it off because of some serious health issues her father was battling. They didn't think he was going to pull through. She begins crying as she is confiding in me the items that were flooding her life. At the time my home was in the country on a nice chunk of property with a saltwater pool, hot tub and outdoor kitchen. I lived alone with three bedrooms, two indoor bathrooms and a outdoor bathroom for the pool/kitchen area. It was a nice place. Obviously I invite her to come take a break in the middle of nowhere with me. We can watch the fireworks and admire the stars, there wasn't any artificial light where I lived.

After some convincing she makes the long drive out to my humble bachelor abode. I prepare for her arrival by warming up the hot tub, I don't know if she will want to take advantage of it but I know it takes time to warm and she needs to be able to turn off her phone and relax without interruption.

The following events vary depending on who is telling the story. It goes something like this:

Jaclyn requested a caribou lou so I mix her one. I tend to make my drinks a bit too strong for the light drinker. The pool lights were glimmering through the water as music played from the kitchen. The waterfall sparkles as Jaclyn relaxes while I begin massaging her shoulders. Suddenly she and I share a kiss that makes our hearts flutter in unison. The long hidden denied passion we shared flourished as kissed and held each other close. It was a magnificent evening that ended too quickly. However for the following weeks Jaclyn would pack an overnight bag while she was in Dallas where she works and then drive to the West side of Fort Worth where resided, spend the night, get up at five in the morning, then drive the hour and a half to work and back. Once or twice a week she would stay the night in the Dallas area with her parents or at her best friend's place.

A few weeks in I decided that this relationship was becoming serious so I inquired her about living with me. If she is going to be spending five nights a week with me why not move in? She asked to split the bills with me. I refused to allow her to pay. She thought that was absolutely crazy. I don't know why I would ask her to pay, it wasn't as if her staying with me was really going to increase the bills I was paying as is, I didn't have a mortgage, my water came from a well. I didn't really foresee the electricity increasing too much, she could split the grocery bills with me and that was about it. I wanted her to live with me so our relationship could be tested. Not to have her cover any of the bills. Believe it or not Jaclyn requested that I sign a cohabitation agreement, officially notarized. So I did. When we were reading through it I chuckled aloud. I couldn't see myself doing the things that were listed, among them was stealing her cat. I assure you I have no interest in stealing your cat. Sadly some people decide to go about the actions she was guarding herself against.

That was the greatest 4th Of July of my life. After all of the dumb shit I have done in my life I somehow ended up being able to marry the most amazing woman I could ever have had the chance of courting and this is still just the beginning. No regrets.